Beginning Entry

Enrolling in a program called Retreat in Daily Life gave me the much needed push to enrich my spirituality. This afternoon's second session opened a lot of ideas - the first thing that entered my mind was that I needed to put into writing the stirrings I felt in my heart. At the same time, I wished to let go of my inhibitions and allow myself to be moved by a kindred and loving spirit. Next thing I know, here I am creating my own blog and releasing so much of thoughts and ideas bubbling out of me.

I called this spot "Little Twisted Sunshine". Bonnie Bailey's "Ever After" remains one of my favorite songs arranged by Hed Kandi. Hearing her sing, "You are my twisted sunshine" had a different meaning for me. I felt it was describing me and that my alter ego was calling out to be recognized. From then on, I've always described myself as a little burst of twisted sunshine - seeing how I have lived my life with the decisions I've made and the experiences I've went through. I said that there would be no other way to describe myself except this.

Entitling my spot "Stay Gold" is related to being a little twisted sunshine and the meaning of it just makes it all the more touching. Tonight, I Google-d a synopsis of this 1983 movie called "The Outsiders" from Wikipedia. This starred our then teenage heart throbs Patrick Swayze, Rob Lowe, C. Thomas Howell, Ralph Macchio, Emilio Estevez, Tom Cruise and Matt Dillon. I watched this eons ago but never got to fully understanding it. I just new that it featured all my crushes.

Anyway, Ralph Macchio and C. Thomas Howell play best friends Johnny Cade and Ponyboy Curtis. a bunch of boys from a group called the Greasers, who hate the Socs. Think West Side Story plot but more dramatic. They get into a fight with the privileged Socs (the usual gang rivalry revenge against members who were victimized by petty gang fights and rumbles) which turns their lives a 180 degrees. From growing up with violence, they learn on their own to make peace with themselves first and their enemies thereafter.

When Johnny dies due to second and third degrees from rescuing children playing in an abandoned and burning church, he whispers and reminds his best friend Ponyboy to "stay gold". I learned that "stay gold" was based from Robert Frost's poem "Nothing Gold Can Stay". The Frost poem meant to always appreciate the things one finds wondrous when one is young. "Staying gold" is the way to be - and that is how I plan to live my life.